“I thought I looked right smart in this tight white lace-up top in sunny Spain, but as usual, my boobs were just begging to be released, so I had to take it off. Later on, my girlfriend and I went to Tenerife. Two weeks of sunbathing, topless of course, and getting drunk. Found plenty of boys to help me put my sun lotion on. We Brits love Spain. We love to get away from the gloomy English weather and warm up.”